It's just occured to me over the past few days the true extent to which people make false promises. I mean, everyone does it now and again. But it just starts to get beyond a joke when it's happening to me all the time. You know, why say things you don't mean? I have feelings and it's not right for people to just step all over me and treat me like it doesn't hurt when they drop me last minute. I think I deserve more respect than that. And don't get me wrong i'm not some kind of "emo" but I just get upset sometimes and need someway to get it off my system.
I mean i've had a hard enough time of it recently and just little things like this can upset me a lot more than they usually would. And it makes me feel silly and immature, but then I suppose, if it upsets me then it matters, right?
I mean, it's kind of getting to the point where I'm starting to think that maybe it's me. But then another part of me is saying don't be silly you're a good person you haven't done anything wrong so why would people treat you like that?
It's literally like having to versions of myself arguing and i'm stuck in the middle of it all.
But I can only hope it's gonna stop because it's making me feel worthless and like the people in my life don't care.
And if it is me that's causing this kind of behaviour from the people in my life I whom love? Then all I can say is at least if I disappoint them from the start, i'm covered for life. I can't do much worse really.
You can't break me down anymore. I can't get any smaller.
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